Happy Home Habits- July

Once Upon a Family has developed the happyhome habits to make it easy and fun to build loving connections, instill strong family values and create a legacy for future generations. These habits are based on the “protective” factors” that decades of research have shown will strengthen families against the negative influences in today’s world.Using the power of rituals and traditions, the happyhome habits are things we can do with our families once-a-day, once-a-week, once-a-month, once-a-year and once-in-a-while. They are simple, fun and they give us peace of mind. We know we have accomplished the most important things for our loved ones.Use the Courage Worksheets to complete the following happyhome habits.
	Once a Day: Conversation Starters ~ Courage What is your greatest fear? How can you overcome it? Have you ever stuck up for a friend who needed support? What was the hardest thing you ever had to do? Name a person, living or dead, who has displayed great courage.
	Once a Week: Family Fun Night ~ Uncle Sam Hats There is nothing more fun than a silly tradition the whole family can participate in. Here is one for the Fourth of July that encourages creativity and makes for wonderful annual family photos. It’s simple. Every family member must make his/her own Uncle Sam’s Hat and wear it for a group portrait. You can allow everyone the freedom to create anything they want (as long as it is red, white and blue) or you can choose themes for each year: paper hats, glitter hats, flag hats, moving hats, tall hats, symbolic hats, funny hats, etc.). If the Fourth of July involves several families getting together, each family can design their own “family hat” and make duplicates for the rest of their family members to wear. No matter what, make sure you capture this patriotic pastime on film for everyone to enjoy.
	Once a Month: Fourth of July Tradition – Conquer with Courage Start a very valuable tradition that can make a big difference in your life and that of your loved ones. Dedicate this month to talking about courage and how our fears limit the quality of life we experience. Have everyone write down anything they can think of that they are afraid of or would like to do if they weren’t afraid. Older family members can help the younger ones. Cut and fold the Conquer with Courage Box from the Activities download and place your fears inside. Everyone picks out one fear to try to conquer for the month and shares it with the rest of the family. Be careful not to criticize or make fun of each other’s fears. Listen, validate, and be supportive. Help each family member think of ways to conquer their fear, instead of suggesting your own, and simply ask how you can be helpful. At the end of the month, the family should talk about how everyone has done and ceremoniously dispose of those little slips of papers.
	Once a Year: Leaving a Courage Legacy with Your Family Story Use this booklet to record a personal story or life lesson that relates to courage. Share it with your family and talk about what that experience was like. Acknowledge acts of courage you see in your home during the month by recording them in your booklet. You will be surprised at how much the recognition means to family members of all ages.
	Once in a While: Expressions of Love – Acknowledging Courage As a family, think of someone you know (a friend, neighbor, co-worker or family member), who has been courageous in some way and use this card to let them know you admire what they did. Taking chances, making tough choices, trying new things, standing up for what we believe in are all examples of day-to-day opportunities to use courage. A little appreciation goes a long way.

 

Five Ways to Encourage Courage

True courage is not about being fearless. On the contrary, it’s about doing things even though we are afraid: afraid of failing, afraid of losing, afraid of getting hurt, or afraid of others not liking us. Courageous people take those risks because it’s the right thing to do, because it’s really important to them, or because it’s what they stand for. They know they may not succeed, and they know what the consequences are. Courage means doing things that are difficult, because we know in our hearts they are good, or right, or the best thing to do in the long run.
There is a big difference between the false macho bravery of accepting dangerous dares and foolish risks and the true inner strength it takes to stand up to peer pressure and be true to your own convictions. In other words, it takes a lot more courage to say no and be called a “chicken” than it does to follow the crowd and do something risky.

There is another side of courage that isn’t about doing what’s right or what’s best. It’s about taking chances and trying things we are afraid of so that we can experience life to its fullest. Everyone has dreams and visions of what they wish their life was like, but many of us are so limited by our fears, and unwilling to take risks, that we never get a chance to really live.

We miss out on true love for fear of being rejected. We stifle hurt feelings because we don’t want to appear sensitive, difficult, demanding, or unappreciative. We stay in disappointing relationships because we are afraid to be alone, afraid we can’t find anyone better, or afraid that others will think we failed. We would love to try singing or take up dancing, but we’re afraid we may not be very good at it. We hesitate to speak up at work, because we might be wrong. We are afraid to say what we really think or believe because others may not like us. We hide our weaknesses and our mistakes from our children because they just might see that we are human. We are slaves to our fears. They control us and they limit our ability to experience the richness of life.

Five Ways to Encourage Courage

The word encourage is a wonderful word. It means to give somebody hope, confidence, or courage, to urge somebody in a helpful way to do or be something. Here are some tips to keep in mind as you encourage your loved ones to conquer their fears.

1. Praise and reward your children for courageous behavior. Any behavior that takes courage; to do the right thing, the honest or the kind thing, is definitely worth honoring with a Candle of Honor at your family dinner table.

2. Talk about situations that involve courage and show respect and admiration for courageous behavior in others. Ask your children to think of situations at school or at home when it was difficult to make the “right” decision.

3. Model courageous behavior yourself, and openly talk about your fears and the importance of making the right decision even though you are afraid.

4. Teach your children that mistakes are opportunities to learn and improve. If a soccer player understands that statistically it takes ten attempts to successfully make a goal, then every time he misses, he knows he is one closer to getting it in.

5. Explain that preparation helps diminish fear and increases your chance of success because you know what you are doing. You’re ready and you feel more confident.

 

Weekly Inspirations: As Simple as Pulling Teeth

A 6-year old demonstrates the utmost courage with a little help from mom…

“My daughter Natalie is 6 years old and very excited about losing her front teeth. All of her friends had already lost theirs and she couldn’t wait for the tooth fairy to visit. For several weeks she would notice loose teeth and beam with joy when they would wiggle back and forth. However, the teeth just didn’t want to come out. I finally asked the dentist to take a look, since her new teeth were peeking through from behind. Before we went to visit the dentist, I told Natalie that the he may want to pull her teeth. She told me she was scared and wondered how it would feel. I was very truthful and said it would not really hurt at the time, but she would probably be uncomfortable a little. After it was done, she would probably have some pain. I thought this would be a great time to talk about courage.

“We talked a little more and I told her that if they do pull her teeth and she is very brave, I will have the Key of Courage with me and she can wear it the rest of the day. She was very happy to hear that and we left for the dentist’s office. At the office, when they called her name, she stood up and walked back to the examining room without hesitation. The dentist recommended pulling her teeth. I hoped she would be strong. When the procedure was over and they came to the front of the office, she had not shed a single tear or showed any sign of fear. The dentist said she was absolutely perfect, he couldn’t believe how well she did. I paid the bill and we walked towards the door. Natalie looked up and said (with her mouth packed with gauze), ‘Can I wear the key of courage now?’ I was so proud of her for being so strong. She truly understands what courage is.” ~ Becky Lloyd

The Key of Courage is one of the Keys of Happiness, which can be used to reward children for demonstrating the values we want to teach them. They are especially great to use at dinnertime, when you can make a big fuss in front of the whole family and ceremoniously present the antique key.

Click here to order a beautiful Key of Courage for your child!

 

 

The Value of Responsibility

 

This month, in Once Upon a Family’s Live, Laugh, Love Club, we are focusing on the family value of responsibility. I have to admit, this is a great place for our family to start, including myself! I have been neglecting some of my duties, namely spring cleaning, the seasonal clothes, and an assigned chore routine. I am a little ashamed of how far I have let things go, especially being a neat, clean, and organized person at heart (although you would never know that if you walked into my home right now!!).

Celebrating good deeds and good choices is a wonderful way to teach cherished family values to your children and grandchildren. Fill your Candle Of Honor Wheels with names and good deeds that represent the 12 family values and talk about the responsibility we all have to behave in ways that make life better for those around us.

 June is about responsibility and how we need to help each other create a happyhome. It is about coming together to do chores, clean the house and make life a little better for everyone. After all, if the grown-ups do everything for everyone else, they will always be tired and never have time to play a board game, throw a ball in the backyard or read with the family.

What are we teaching children when we run around doing everything, while they play with their friends or watch TV? If we all pitch in and help out, everyone has more fun. Get the family involved in a planned experiment to divvy up chores and cooking. Start an organized rotation of duties, so every family member is able to learn how hard parents work to provide for the family and also about pride in a job well done.

Make it fun by playing a lively song while doing Saturday chores together, and then treat everyone to a baked family favorite (cake, pie or cookies) when they have completed their tasks.

Older children should not leave the home to go off to college without knowing how to cook for themselves, clean the house, do laundry, iron, balance a checkbook, etc. Children who are taught to help out at home will, no doubt, grow up well-equipped to take care of themselves.

June’s Happy Home Habits

 

Once Upon A Family Celebration Demonstration

Why Host a Celebration?

 

The Magic of a Celebration
There is something magical about gathering family and friends together to discuss one of the most important parts of our lives – family. Once Upon a Family products are sold through a team of Consultants who will share with you “The Seven Keys to Creating Family Ties,” and the inspirational ideas behind each product that make them so unique. As a Once Upon a Family Hostess you can gather your friends and family together for a meaningful and fun-filled Celebration, and earn magnificent rewards.

This is Unlike Any Home Party You Have Ever Been To
The Once Upon a Family experience is about learning how easy it is to bring families closer, sharing traditions and ideas with each other. You will return home to your family inspired to simplify and enrich your own lives. A Consultant will come to your home and show you and your friends simple ways to strengthen family ties, present our beautiful line of products, and share traditions and ideas that your guests can take home and use right away with their families. read more…

If you live in the Philadelphia area, and you would like to host a Once Upon a Family Celebration, please contatct me. Below is a video example of a Celebration.

 

Weekly Inspirations: Teaching the Value of Responsibility

Responsibility – such an important word, and probably one of the most important family values we can teach our children because of the impact it has on each family member’s individual happiness as well as how we relate to each other. There are three parts to responsibility: Being responsible for ourselves Being responsible for our part in the family unit Being responsible for our choices, our behavior ad our happiness Teaching our children responsibility is really easy once you understand a few basic guidelines. It’s not about forcing kids to do things, its about giving them choices and helping them understand that they are ultimately responsible for making their own choices. The Five Keys to Teaching Responsibility are:
	Praise, praise, praise their efforts whether they are successful or not. The most effective praise is not direct, but indirect compliments delivered within earshot of your child. Share the success with Dad as he arrives home or with Grandma on the phone.
	Don’t expect perfection and let them know in advance not to expect success the first couple of times. Show excitement with regard to their efforts and let them know how proud you are that they are learning something new and growing up.
	Make sure that the tasks are age-appropriate, and that the child has the skills, the judgement, and the knowledge to take on a particular responsibility.
	Provide clear choices, and give them the freedom to choose. Responsibility can be rewarded with stickers, treats, or other privileges. If you do a good job selecting and presenting choices for your children the consequences will do the work for you.
	Share openly with your children your own mistakes and how they affect your life. When children see their parents admit to their own mistakes, assume responsibility and accept the consequences, they become more responsible for their own behavior.

Ultimately, it is our responsibility to make good choices, to be honest, kind, loving, cheerful, and respectful… to be decent human beings, and to make the world a better place.

 

News From Home- Sale!

ENJOY 25% SAVINGS ON SELECTED PRODUCTS Perfect for making memories at your family summer get-togethers! Now through June 30, 2008 Click Here to Place Your Order Now! a. Family Tree Poster & 25 Leaves, Regularly $32, SALE: $24 #SI005 b. Family Tree Booklets/Set of 5, Regularly $16, SALE: $12 #SI023 c. Recipe for Joy Cards/Set of 25, Regularly $8, SALE: $6 #SI020 d. Recipe Box with 6 Dividers, Regularly $27, SALE: $20.25 #SI021 e. Family Recipe Cards/Set of 50, Regularly $11, SALE: $8.25 #SI013 f. Family Recipe Album, Regularly $42, SALE: $31.50 #SI012   June 10, 2008

 

Nine Powerful Things Traditions Can Do For Your Family

So many of our “favorite childhood memories” are of family holidays and vacations that were repeated over and over again; good smells, good feelings, good times. Children and adults alike find comfort in knowing that something is going to happen that they are sure they will enjoy. Traditions are really the building blocks of strong, caring, happy families.

1.  Traditions make us spend time together without the normal daily distractions because they are scheduled and planned. Since we are often rushed, rituals and traditions make sure we do the things we really value. 2.  Traditions provide opportunities to show how much we care with gifts, preparations, and spontaneous displays of emotion. They set the mood for a more relaxed and focused state, and make us feel comfortable enough to openly express our love and appreciation for each other. When we talk with longing about our Mother’s apple pie, or Grandpa’s favorite fishing trip, it’s the emotions and good feelings connected to those things that we really miss. 3.  Traditions help us stay close to family and friends far away because traditions usually involve celebrations, and celebrations usually require more people. They provide a structure that prevents people from drifting apart. The more occasions and events a family celebrates, the more opportunities they each have to connect. 4.  Traditions help us build a family identity by establishing how we communicate, how we make decisions and solve problems, as well as how we celebrate holidays, milestones, and other family events. Traditions say, “this is how we do things as a family… this is how we decorate our Christmas tree, this is how we celebrate birthdays, this is the ice cream shop where we stop on the way to Sequoia National Park every Labor Day Weekend… this is who we are.” 5.  Traditions make it possible to create a family history as they are passed on through the generations. Memorabilia and photos that show the family doing the same thing year after year make us feel connected to those who came before us. 6.  Traditions provide optimal settings for teaching family values through the sheer strength of repetition. We learn much more powerful lessons from activities that we participate in year after year, than from an occasional lecture. Since many rituals and traditions create a relaxed and happy atmosphere, learning is more likely to take place. Our family values become part of who we are. 7.  Traditions give us many reasons to celebrate life together, and they make it easy because you know what to do and how to do it. On Friday nights we walk to the ice cream shop after dinner, on Saturday afternoons we make caramel-almond-popcorn and watch a video, and Sunday mornings we have Mom’s delicious blueberry waffles and go for a bike ride to the beach. Since we are not rushing around worrying about what to do next, we can actually enjoy ourselves. 8.  Traditions bring together the generations, which can add such richness to our family life. The older members of the family bring patience, wisdom, and wonderful stories of the past. The young ones bring that youthful wonder and excitement about life that brings joy to the rest of us. 9.  Traditions help us organize our busy, hectic lives. Planning rituals on specific days of the year means that those projects will get done (such as the family album on New Year’s Day, or the letter to your child on his/her birthday).

 

Seven Keys to Creating Family Ties

Key #1: Creating a sense of belonging
Families who make family a priority, create a sense of belonging. They plan time for family activities and events, and respect that time. Family members are expected to participate and made to feel they are an important part of the family unit. Examples: the Family Memory Board and the Leather Family Album.

Key #2: Showing love and appreciation
Families show love and appreciation for each other, in many ways. They learn to be comfortable communicating their affection and giving each other “gifts of love” often. No one, no matter how old they are, ever grows out of the need to feel loved and appreciated. Examples: the Dear Sweet Child Letter Box, and Wood-Patterned Love Box, or the Love Journal.

Key #3: Stay close to family and friends
Families stay close to family and friends that live far away. They don’t let distance and time erode their bonds. They find ways to stay connected and enrich their relationships. They will make sacrifices, like driving through snowstorms, to get together and support each other, especially in hard times. Examples: Letters from Grandma Set, Love by the Month Envelopes.

Key #4: Creating a strong sense of family identity, rich in tradition
The rituals and traditions families create, and pass on, help them feel unique as a family and connected to each other. The sillier, and more unusual, the better. “This is who we are… this is how we do things… this is how we celebrate birthdays, the Fourth of July, Mother’s Day, etc. Examples: The Birthday Book, and The Holiday Tradition Books & Sacks.

Key #5: Developing a family history
Families develop their history through stories, keepsakes, etc. They are interested in their heritage and often create family trees, interview older family members, and treasure keepsakes from distant relatives. They keep journals and write down the wonderful “family stories” that get passed down through the generations. Examples: the Family Tree Poster & Leaves, the Family Tree Booklets, and the Leather Family Journal.

Key #6: Honor and respect family values
Families honor and respect a set of family values. They know what those family values are, talk about them often, and help each other make important decisions with those values in mind. Many of their family traditions revolve around the values they want to teach their children. Examples: Candle of Honor, Keys of Happiness, Family Values Journal.

Key #7: Celebrating life together…often
Families get together with family and friends and find reasons to celebrate life every month. They all participate and help in the planning and preparation. They enjoy each other’s company and make every event a celebration. Examples: The Holiday Tradition Books & Sacks, Memories We Share Envelopes, and Wishes to the Newborn Gift Box.

 

Five Realities of Family Life

Reality #1: Families come in all shapes and sizes
Some of us are lucky enough to be born into a big extended family, rich in history and tradition. Most of us are not. And we often watch these families with envy, wishing we had one like that. We also think, sometimes, that we can’t have it because we are single, divorced, without children, or because we live too far from our “real” family. You don’t have to be the perfect traditional family to feel like a family. There are single parent families, and spread-across-the-country families who are very close, and traditional families that are totally disconnected. It’s not about “who” your family is, it’s about “what” you do together.

Reality #2: We can plan for & create the kind of family life we want
You don’t have to drift along, hoping it will happen. There are many things you can do to steer your family in the right direction. Some people think you can’t force “these things”, and they are right. You can’t force it. But you can plant the seeds, add a little fertilizer and nurture it along. It is definitely possible to plan for and create the kind of family you want. You just have to understand how it works and be flexible. It’s simply a matter of knowing what’s worth spending time and money on and what’s not.

Reality #3: We already know what to do
Most of us have an instinctive sense about what it takes to create family ties. We all take photos. We save the worn-out stuffed bear, the school papers, and the baby teeth. We plan lots of family get-togethers, and we try hard to make our loved ones feel special. No one tells us to do these things. We simply do them because we know in our hearts how important they are. The problem is that our modern, hectic lifestyles don’t leave us the time to organize these memories and keepsakes in the powerful ways that can bring our families closer. And we are often misled by marketing and advertising. We spend time and money doing things that are not really important and often miss the opportunity to do the little things that make all the difference.

Reality #4: It’s easier than we think
What we remember most fondly from our childhood days are not the lavish birthday parties or the expensive gifts, but the simple family events that are repeated over and over again… good smells… good feelings… good times… someone special spending time with us. The beauty of it is, it’s less work for us. We don’t have to come up with new and different things to do or things to eat, every time we get together. We can plan the same activities, use the same decorations, and prepare the same food as we did last year for every holiday throughout the year. It’s what our family really wants.

Reality #5: It’s never too late to get started
It’s never too late to get started building family ties, even if your children are already grownup. Creating family ties is an ongoing, forever evolving process. There is no beginning and no end. We just keep making it better. You can easily start with your grown-up children, your grandchildren, or your nieces and nephews. We never stop needing that human connection. Establishing family traditions and strengthening family ties, with anyone, at any age, is a wonderful gift to give.